Marriage.
I had no idea.
I didn't know what to expect and even if someone had told me everyday everything to expect I still wouldn't have understood.
It is something you must experience to understand and I have been experiencing it for 2 and a half years now.
To my complete surprise it didn't taste like chocolate and smell like roses.
It was like taffy, kind of sweet but so chewy you couldn't really enjoy it like you wanted to because it was so exhausting!
That's how the first 2 years were for me. I knew it was right and what God had in mind but sometimes I wondered....
This past month my Pastor has been talking about marriage and had a key piece of advice that changed my thinking, marriage isn't supposed to just work, it's supposed to shine
Marriage is a picture of Christ and the church.
It is a prophecy for the world to see.
It is a witness for the world to see.
God, in the beginning made man, the species, not just the man.
Adam was male and female within himself until God pulled Eve out of Adam.
God separated them with full anticipation of bringing them back together.
So in marriage you are one with your spouse and the fullness of God is there.
The only way to make marriage work is to not try to fix anything about your spouse. I repeat, anything.
YOU WILL NOT CHANGE THEM.
God can, but you can't!
The only person you can change is yourself and that's hard enough. Try loosing 10 lbs.!
Once you forfeit the game of "Change Your Spouse to be Better" you're on your way to success in marriage.
God calls men to love their woman like Christ loves the church and women to respect and honor their man as unto the Lord.
There is freedom when we focus on our roles. I don't respect my husband because he deserves it, there are a lot of times he doesn't, but I do it because the way to joy and peace is through obedience to the Lord.
I don't deserve his love but he loves me because God told him to.
I used to want to try and manipulate situations to get him to love me more but it always backfired or he'd see right through it so I decided to respect him more instead of manipulate and what do you know, in return he loves me more!
There is only one reason for divorce, selfishness.
That's it.
As Christians we must die to our flesh daily! We take up our cross daily so we should never be living for ourselves but that is quite contrary to what the world teaches us.
Sometimes in the morning I just declare that I am dead. I say it out loud so Satan and I can hear it.
"I, McKenna, am dead to my flesh. I am living today by the Spirit alone."
It's simple but it transforms your mind early on, sometimes I put a finger gun to my head and pull the trigger just to solidify my statement.
Now it doesn't matter how my husband acts towards me because I am living by my spirit and it obeys the Word of God so I choose to respect him and not talk bad about him or joke in a way that is disrespectful.
When I do my part and he does his, not for each other but for God, we s h i n e.
God's glory gets involved in our marriage and it shows the world what love is.
The problem is that even Christians don't know what their marriage is really about. Most people think its about them and their desires but its not.
When the world sees Christians divorce at almost the same rate as unbelievers I'm not surprised that a loving God is a far off fantasy to them.
Marriage is hard if you don't die.
I know that sounds funny but it's true.
The reason married people fight is because they think they deserve what they want.
We don't deserve anything.
God deserves everything.
Most importantly he deserves us to be obedient to Him.
In our obedience He works behind the scenes in our partners and in us so that we become what He has planned for us to become.
So next time you find yourself fighting or wishing your spouse was different get out your finger gun and kill that flesh! Spend time in prayer for them! Spend time in prayer for you!
Respect him!
Love her!
That is what will cause the necessary change in your relationship.
You might be thinking,
"Oh, McKenna that's too simple!"
Well it is simple. Boil every situation down and see that the key to a successful marriage isn't complicated.
I'm so glad that this knowledge has sunk down deep into my "knower" so early in my marriage because now there is no reason I shouldn't have a God-glorifying marriage.
I had no idea.
I didn't know what to expect and even if someone had told me everyday everything to expect I still wouldn't have understood.
It is something you must experience to understand and I have been experiencing it for 2 and a half years now.
To my complete surprise it didn't taste like chocolate and smell like roses.
It was like taffy, kind of sweet but so chewy you couldn't really enjoy it like you wanted to because it was so exhausting!
That's how the first 2 years were for me. I knew it was right and what God had in mind but sometimes I wondered....
This past month my Pastor has been talking about marriage and had a key piece of advice that changed my thinking, marriage isn't supposed to just work, it's supposed to shine
Marriage is a picture of Christ and the church.
It is a prophecy for the world to see.
It is a witness for the world to see.
God, in the beginning made man, the species, not just the man.
Adam was male and female within himself until God pulled Eve out of Adam.
God separated them with full anticipation of bringing them back together.
So in marriage you are one with your spouse and the fullness of God is there.
The only way to make marriage work is to not try to fix anything about your spouse. I repeat, anything.
YOU WILL NOT CHANGE THEM.
God can, but you can't!
The only person you can change is yourself and that's hard enough. Try loosing 10 lbs.!
Once you forfeit the game of "Change Your Spouse to be Better" you're on your way to success in marriage.
God calls men to love their woman like Christ loves the church and women to respect and honor their man as unto the Lord.
There is freedom when we focus on our roles. I don't respect my husband because he deserves it, there are a lot of times he doesn't, but I do it because the way to joy and peace is through obedience to the Lord.
I don't deserve his love but he loves me because God told him to.
I used to want to try and manipulate situations to get him to love me more but it always backfired or he'd see right through it so I decided to respect him more instead of manipulate and what do you know, in return he loves me more!
There is only one reason for divorce, selfishness.
That's it.
As Christians we must die to our flesh daily! We take up our cross daily so we should never be living for ourselves but that is quite contrary to what the world teaches us.
Sometimes in the morning I just declare that I am dead. I say it out loud so Satan and I can hear it.
"I, McKenna, am dead to my flesh. I am living today by the Spirit alone."
It's simple but it transforms your mind early on, sometimes I put a finger gun to my head and pull the trigger just to solidify my statement.
Now it doesn't matter how my husband acts towards me because I am living by my spirit and it obeys the Word of God so I choose to respect him and not talk bad about him or joke in a way that is disrespectful.
When I do my part and he does his, not for each other but for God, we s h i n e.
God's glory gets involved in our marriage and it shows the world what love is.
The problem is that even Christians don't know what their marriage is really about. Most people think its about them and their desires but its not.
When the world sees Christians divorce at almost the same rate as unbelievers I'm not surprised that a loving God is a far off fantasy to them.
Marriage is hard if you don't die.
I know that sounds funny but it's true.
The reason married people fight is because they think they deserve what they want.
We don't deserve anything.
God deserves everything.
Most importantly he deserves us to be obedient to Him.
In our obedience He works behind the scenes in our partners and in us so that we become what He has planned for us to become.
So next time you find yourself fighting or wishing your spouse was different get out your finger gun and kill that flesh! Spend time in prayer for them! Spend time in prayer for you!
Respect him!
Love her!
That is what will cause the necessary change in your relationship.
You might be thinking,
"Oh, McKenna that's too simple!"
Well it is simple. Boil every situation down and see that the key to a successful marriage isn't complicated.
I'm so glad that this knowledge has sunk down deep into my "knower" so early in my marriage because now there is no reason I shouldn't have a God-glorifying marriage.
I like this a lot! PREACH IT! :-)
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